And then I was on this train...

Which was going nowhere, fast. Yes, folks, this is Luke Perreault coming to you via iPad from the rail inbound to Edinburgh from King's Cross, London.

I'm sitting here, waiting, with my nose pressed up against the cold window watching a landscape of shadows roll by me, my eyes drawn to pinpricks of light in the distance and the solitary glow of an occasional farmhouse.
Romantic, right? I've got a million of 'em, ladies. ANYWAY... Back to the story.
Earlier, the conductor came on the intercom to let us know a few things:

"Hello everyone, thank you for traveling with us tonight. We apologize for the delay, I'm currently trying to contact the driver to determine why we're held up. I will, naturally, relay any information to you I find."
TRANSLATION
"I have absolutely no idea why we're stopped."
Then...
"Everyone, I have just been informed by the driver that the signalman has ordered us to stop here for the time being, due to a malfunction in the track up ahead. We will keep you informed of any updates."
TRANSLATION
"The bloody railroad broke. It just bloody broke."
Then MUCH later...
"Attention passengers. I've been informed that they've temporarily patched up the railway and we are ok to go at low speed."
TRANSLATION
"We put some WD 40 on it. Don't be a sissy."

More on this later. The journey continues.... Sort of.